Cover Girls

Ladies be warned. there are many men out there who are gay and dont want to be so they find cover up girlfriends; and I am a magnet for them. I had many first and last dates that consisted of extra wrist flicks or super long manicured nails and maybe those are things that could be over looked but of course there is a story behind it all. I had been best friends with a guy for 7 years and we had made the decision to try dating. It started out great, things were passionate, he already knew me so well, and my friends loved him. During a school break I decided to drive to his campus to stay for a weekend. Ryan had to work some so I spent a few hours alone every day in the apartement. One morning I noticed that he had left his old phone at home and had taken his new phone to work...no biggie because people normally delete everything out of a phone once they are done with it, it was a blackberry and I was looking to get one like it. So I decided to try it out to see if I liked. As soon as I turned it on some messages popped up from a name...J.Woods...not gender specific. All of the messages had things in them like "Papa Bear", "Chocolate Bunny", "I love you", "I miss you". I didnt intially freak out because I knew it was an old phone and it was probably before we dates, but when i looked at the date it was just the week before. He had been switching the phones in and out of use. So the most logical thing to do is pack up your stuff and make your self look extra hot so when you walk out the door he will see what he is missing. Once Ryan came home I explained what I found and he was mortified, and when he was trying to explain himself he kept refering to J.Woods as "them" or "their", I finally turned to him and asked if this wa even a girl we are talking about and his answer was NO! My first intinct was to laugh becuase I was so shocked but still mad at the deceit. How did I not know that my best friend of 7 years and now my boyfriend was struggling with his identity. He denied a lot of the feelings and it would be a complete double standard of me to say it is not okay for men to experiment but I think if I had the chance to talk to "Chocolate Bunny" he would disagree. I supported him anyway as my friend and didn't bring it up again....however now I question if a guy who is a little bit feminine could be my next Tyler and which makes me want to run away screaming in the oppostie direction.

Anahata Lesson: Not every guy that I date is going to be intersted Charles our waiter, don't go into the date looking for the signs

Definition

Anahata means: unstuck. We as people are constantly looking to define ourselves. I am constantly looking to redefine myself. Not because I am unhappy but because I love to explore and perfect my being...I am try to find the right look in my skin. I have completely fallin love head over heels with Yoga and while practicing I was learning about the chakras. The Anahata Chakra struck my heart, it was then that I realized that this was going to be the mantra for my life. I wanted to learn to love people in a way that reflects that I have never been struck, I want to live life unstruck. I don't want past experiences or pain to effect that way that I love, new love should be started with a clean slate. Now I have many reasons and experiences that would want to make me skeptical or cautious when it comes to love...some that are funny, sad, and infuriating; some of these stories I will blog about. I have always wanted to write a book about my dating life because it can be quite amusing but never had a basis for the book until now. Each story that I blog will have an "anahata lesson" moral, or tidbit of advice.

Warning: Some stories may be graphic or crude